|First Time Alone with a Girl in Her Dorm Room is a collection of epic tales of adolescent deprivation, missed opportunities, and eventual grand redemption presented in a wide-open, acoustic punk styling. The humorous sarcasm spread throughout the album is so twisted, it could only have come from a mind that lives on the edge of what is reasonable.
The stories highlighting the record include:
Twice as Nervous
A tale of a young man's otherwise promising encounter in a college dorm room that is threatened by immobilizing self doubt.
Will Someone Please Have Sex with Me?
A poor fellow's desperate plea for someone to end his lengthy cold streak.
I Don't Like Cats
A stunning comparison between a conniving young wretch and the animal her actions make her resemble.
I'm Not Gay
A story of a man whose game with the ladies was so weak, the world began to wonder if he was even playing.
The famous high powered sixty-seven second tribute to the graceful lords of the trees that has very little do to with the general theme of the album.
She Didn't Know She was Hot
A delightful story of a girl who was easy on the eyes yet still way cool.
I'll bet You Can't Tell
A final rallying cry so honest it forces the listener to consider the peculiar notion that the artist was somehow trying to make a difference in the world by recording this album.
Full Track List
1 Twice as Nervous (4:03)
2 Squirrels (1:07) 3 You Took My Parking Space (1:36) 4 Susan Rogers is a Guitar Snatcher (3:13) 5 She Didn't Know She was Hot (3:13) 6 Go Away (4:36) 7 I Don't Like Cats (2:44) 8 My Own Apartment (2:20) 9 You Just Have the Munchies (1:25) 10 El o El (3:45) 11 I'm Not Gay (2:32) 12 Will Someone Please Have Sexwith Me? (3:24) 13 Seventh Glass of Wine (3:01) 14 Please Like My Fan Page (2:12) 15 My Girl Digs the Sacrifice Fly (2:02)
16 I'll Bet You Can't Tell (6:06)
Mastered by Kirk Farmer
Girl in her dorm room on cover: Heather Brockel
Special thanks to Dusty Lee!